this is an excellent piece. you hit the nail on the head.. you can never be yourself. you're always wearing a mask, putting on a performance.. you are truly unknowable.. a shadow..what are you really?
Thanks! Damn, hell if I know. A temporary arrangement of atoms that somehow (we have no idea how) leads to what we call consciousness (we have no idea what that is). A narrative that puts memories into a coherent thread? And then you die.
This is moving and beautiful and describes exactly how I feel.
In my life, I have tried a few times to let the mask down a little bit, that means to reveal more than I know the person in front of me is prepared to see. It did not go well. It almost always leads to a medium catastrophe.
The masks we choose to wear for others are well selected, not random. We know exactly which one to put on. There is a mask to present for everyone. Sometimes I think it's sad and pathetic that it has to be like this. Then again, I think, like you wrote, it cannot be any other way.
A mask for work, a mask for family, a mask for friends, a mask for trying to know new people, a mask for possible partners, a mask for the public. As a former people pleaser, now more than fed up, I'm letting some masks rot. Keeping them nice and clear, ready for use, is draining me in a way I didn't think was possible. So I'm showing more and more of myself, knowing it'll surprise and/or scare some people away but I just can't stand the greasy touch of the mask on top of my skin for long periods of time anymore. The only mask I try to keep is the mask for work, because I have bills to pay. I play the lottery with the hope of winning some millions and let the working mask rot, but I guess that's just another mask I have: the optimistic mask
I have always felt like I am putting in a different face, costume, persona depending on who I am with or what I am doing. Maybe that’s just being human?
Ray Bradbury's line from the opening to "The October Country" came into my head unbidden: "...[w]hose people passing at night on the empty walks sound like rain."
Somewhere out there Mark Fisher and Kurt Cobain are sagely nodding their heads
YES! His writing often makes me think of Mark Fisher as well.
I can only imagine what Fisher would have to say about the state of things in 2025...!
this is an excellent piece. you hit the nail on the head.. you can never be yourself. you're always wearing a mask, putting on a performance.. you are truly unknowable.. a shadow..what are you really?
Thanks! Damn, hell if I know. A temporary arrangement of atoms that somehow (we have no idea how) leads to what we call consciousness (we have no idea what that is). A narrative that puts memories into a coherent thread? And then you die.
This is moving and beautiful and describes exactly how I feel.
In my life, I have tried a few times to let the mask down a little bit, that means to reveal more than I know the person in front of me is prepared to see. It did not go well. It almost always leads to a medium catastrophe.
The masks we choose to wear for others are well selected, not random. We know exactly which one to put on. There is a mask to present for everyone. Sometimes I think it's sad and pathetic that it has to be like this. Then again, I think, like you wrote, it cannot be any other way.
A mask for work, a mask for family, a mask for friends, a mask for trying to know new people, a mask for possible partners, a mask for the public. As a former people pleaser, now more than fed up, I'm letting some masks rot. Keeping them nice and clear, ready for use, is draining me in a way I didn't think was possible. So I'm showing more and more of myself, knowing it'll surprise and/or scare some people away but I just can't stand the greasy touch of the mask on top of my skin for long periods of time anymore. The only mask I try to keep is the mask for work, because I have bills to pay. I play the lottery with the hope of winning some millions and let the working mask rot, but I guess that's just another mask I have: the optimistic mask
Another brilliant essay that really hit home. Thank you Antonio
This is an excellent piece! Well done! Here's one more subscriber!
I am literally living for the theatre references.
I have always felt like I am putting in a different face, costume, persona depending on who I am with or what I am doing. Maybe that’s just being human?
Killer writing
Thought provoking. Thanks. Explains a lot.
Ray Bradbury's line from the opening to "The October Country" came into my head unbidden: "...[w]hose people passing at night on the empty walks sound like rain."